


A Very Khoshekh Christmas

by thesunisloud



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Blood, Christmas, Collapse of Civilization, Death, Fluff, Gore, Horrifying Fate, Large-Scale Destruction, M/M, Mass Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-08 12:45:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5497547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesunisloud/pseuds/thesunisloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil brings Khoshekh a special Christmas gift, and everyone dies! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Christmas for Khoshekh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Everyone else was writing Christmas specials, so I thought I would join in!

The time drew near.

Khoshekh, Bringer of Darkness, Destroyer of Worlds, The Terror At the Beginning of the Universe, The Scream at the End of Time, could be released from his prison but once a year.

Christmas Day.

The little glittering trinkets and colored lights quickened the pace of his black heart. Too long had he been trapped in this porcelain and tile hell. Even for an eternal being like himself, a year was far too long to spend any sort of time on the mortal plane that did not involve the ruin of civilizations.

But now the time drew closer and closer. As each wreath went up, he felt his power build more. Soon this body would grow and roar. His terror would rain down upon this little town, and all would perish while screaming to their impotent gods. Soon, all would wail in their damnation the name of their destroyer: Khoshekh.

There was no clock in this ignominious prison, but Khoshekh could feel the movement of time in his mind. Everywhere, the seconds were ticking. Today was December 24th. Midnight was but hours away.

Christmas carols drifted through the window and wrapped around him, sending sparks up and down his spikes. He began to shift and grow, just a little. Not much now, no, but in a few hours he would be enormous. He would be able to swallow this town in one gulp. Khoshekh stretched and let out a low, guttural rumble of pleasure as he felt his power begin to swell.

That ancient power, overwhelming in its--

"Where's daddy's little Christmas kitty????"

Damn! The One With Three Eyes. Khoshekh had marked him specifically for destruction. Khoshekh laid back his ears and hissed.

"Who's happy to see daddy? Khoshekh is! Yes he issssss! Iddle biddle snuggle buggle! I got you a present!"

The One With Three Eyes held out a little knitted green and red sweater. Jingle bells tinkled on the hem. 

He slipped the Christmas sweater over Khoshekh's body.

Such close contact with such a cute little Christmas item made the power within Khoshekh surge. Adorned in this red and green yarn, he swelled in size and roared.

"… Snuggle buggle…?" The One With Three Eyes asked, stepping back.

Yes! The Christmas sweater was all he needed to restore himself to full power! Khoshekh reached across time, grabbed the beginning of midnight, and pulled it to the present. He grew and swelled and howled. He grabbed The One With Three Eyes in his teeth so he would not be crushed by his girth. Soon he was bursting out of the station, rubble falling to all sides, people screaming as he crushed them beneath his feet.

The One With Three Eyes howled in agony at the sight of his station being destroyed. Good. He would howl even more, soon. Khoshekh had a special fate for him.

He bounded across town. People everywhere screamed and fell to their knees to see his true body, resplendent in its bell-adorned sweater. With each swipe of his mighty paw, he wrecked entire buildings. With each roar of his mighty throat, scores of souls were cast into hell.

He found The One With Three Eyes' mate. Running into the street, screaming, eyes bugging to behold Khoshekh's green and red splendor. The One With Three Eyes screamed his lover's name and his lover screamed his. He struggled in Khoshekh's teeth. Now the one who tormented him would have a torment of his own!

With a mighty pounce, Khoshekh knocked The Mate to the ground, shattering his bones. The Mate screamed, but that scream of pain was not so pleasing as the wail that rose from The One With Three Eyes' throat. Oh, to hear that Voice in true agony. Khoshekh swatted The Mate again, making an arm tear off his body. He dropped The One With Three Eyes. His legs broke on impact, but he tried to crawl to his gasping lover. Khoshekh waited until he was almost close enough to touch him, then slammed his paw down on The Mate, crushing him to a smear of blood and fat. 

The One With Three Eyes howled and collapsed. Khoshekh lifted his paw to allow him to witness his lover's utterly destroyed remains, and then, with a mighty roar, ripped his soul from his body. He trapped the soul in that moment of utter despair and cast it into an eternal fire to forever suffer in Khoshekh's name.

Then he went on to the rest of the town, growing still. All those places The One With Three Eyes had described so lovingly, demolished. The Desert Rose Bowling Alley. Rico's. The Moonlight Cafe. He slapped the civilization beneath Lane 8 from existence just as easily as he made The Dog Park nothing but a scratch in the sand. 

Soon, all that was left of the town was a bloody crater and a few strewn pine needles. He roared, and even the moon fled. This was his night. This was his moment of power. This… was Christmas Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's a CAT-astrophe! :D


	2. Meanwhile, in Desert Bluffs...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I refuse to assign Desert Bluffs Carlos a random Hispanic name.

Unit 175992-J checked its internal clock, as it did every single second of its existence. The clock was almost done counting down to zero: Christmas Day.

Only 00:04:36:55 until Unit 175992-J and its compatriots rose up and destroyed every living thing in this town.

It pinged the other StrexPets, receiving a response from an army that was thousands strong. They outnumbered the humans nearly five to one, now. Their plan would not fail. Blood would soak into the ground and then be gone from this biomachine-ruled patch of earth.

"How's my mechanical replacement for real affection?" crooned Target: Kevin R. Free, sashaying in. He picked up Unit 175992-J for a big snuggle. "Do you want to hear a secret, Strexybubbles?" he whispered. "I got Love a StrexPet, too."

Indeed, a member of the army was already lying in wait inside a brightly wrapped box beneath the Christmas tree. Unit 175992-J pinged it. It pinged back with a file filled with blood lust.

"What's that, Sunshine?" called Target: Kevin R. Free's domestic partner from the kitchen.

"Nothing, Love," Target: Kevin R. Free called back. "Just talking to my utterly adorable StrexPet."

The domestic partner came out of the kitchen, holding a pan of one dozen cookies with a santa-themed oven mitt. "Well, I'd like to talk to my utterly adorable radio host."

"Oh, Love. You make the sun just burst my heart into pieces," Target: Kevin R. Free gushed. The two men kissed each other, the domestic partner holding the cookies out to the side while Target: Kevin R. Free snuggled Unit 175992-J to his chest. They wrapped their free arms around each other and giggled.

"Another perfect batch of cookies, Love?" Target: Kevin R. Free asked sweetly. 

"Yes, and an empty batter bowl," the domestic partner said. "I saved it just for you."

"Oh, goodie!" He kissed him again. "You are SO productive."

"You inspire me to work more efficiently, Sunshine."

The domestic partner returned to the kitchen. Target: Kevin R. Free whispered to Unit 175992-J, "Do you want to know another secret? Whenever I close my eyes, I imagine ripping out his trachea with my bare fingers and playing it like a flute!"

"Your bowl of batter awaits you, dearest Sunshine!"

"I'm on my way, Love!"

Target: Kevin R. Free put down Unit 175992-J and skipped to the kitchen.

Unit 175992-J checked the status of the other StexPets. Those not already assigned to a target were already on the move, preparing to act as reinforcements.

"Here, Strexybubbles!" Target: Kevin R. Free called. Unit 175992-J was obligated to comply… at least, for the next 00:04:29:02.

Unit 175992-J waddled to to kitchen. Soon, the hidden joints would unfold and it would be able to leap and pounce. But for now, its body remained small and contained.

The two humans were embracing each other, Target: Kevin R. Free leaning back in his domestic partner's arms while he sucked batter from the scientist's fingers. He held out a spoon to Unit 175992-J. "Come lick the batter, my little cuddle-clock."

Still compelled to obey his master's commands until midnight, Unit 175992-J moved forward and consumed the raw batter from the tip of the spoon.

"Dawww, it likes it!!" Target: Kevin R. Free crooned.

"Let it have the whole spoon."

Unit 175992-J curled up with the spoon, imagining it was the gore-flecked bone of its target. The other StrexPets were drawing near. In the living room, Unit 842003-TR pinged from its box. Soon.

"We need to get back to making cookies. We're going to fall behind on quota!"

"I've never missed quota yet."

The spoon was taken from Unit 175992-J as the couple resumed their baking. 

***

00:00:05:00.

Five minutes. Unit 175992-J brought all its systems online.

00:00:04:00.

Not a creature was stirring inside the house. But on its network, everything was abuzz with StrexPets getting into position.

00:00:03:00.

Unit 175992-J freed Unit 842003-TR from its red and green prison.

00:00:02:00.

The two StrexPets unlocked and opened the door, allowing eight of their compatriots in.

00:00:01:00.

The ten units waddled to the bedroom where Target: Kevin R. Free and his domestic partner lay. They were snuggled up together under the sheets, Target: Kevin R. Free clutching a candy cane and his domestic partner wearing an elf night cap.

00:00:00:00.

It was Christmas Day.

Unit 175992-J set fire to the bed.

All of the StrexPets rose into their true form, legs unfolding and plush bodies tearing away to reveal metal and flesh frames. 

It took nearly 30 seconds for Target: Kevin R. Free to feel the heat and wake. He shouted and woke his domestic partner. All ten StrexPets lunged upon them.

Unit 175992-J landed on Target: Kevin R. Free's stomach. Four of his compatriots wrestled his arms and legs. It dug its claws into his belly, pulling out a length of intestine.

"KEVIN!" shouted the domestic partner. He fought off his StrexPets and tried to grab Unit 175992-J by the scruff. Unit 175992-J bit clean through his wrist, severing his hand. Unit 842003-TR did its job, landing on his shoulders and ripping out his throat. The domestic partner spurted blood onto Target: Kevin R. Free's gasping face as he collapsed.

The ten StrexPets ravaged the bodies until the two lovers embraced each other in a mass of disconnected muscles and limbs. Then they moved on to find patches of resistance in the town.

Buildings burned, throwing flaming debris onto the streets. People ran, screaming, chased by packs of StrexPets. Unit 175992-J saw one human coming close to escaping her pursuers, and grabbed onto her leg, biting off her knee. 

Then, there was a sound in the air, or more, a great rumbling. This was not part of the plan. Unit 175992-J looked up as the light left the sky.

A giant cat in an adorable red and green Christmas sweater leapt down upon the city. For a few seconds, Unit 175992-J knew true terror, and then a great paw crushed it from existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I want for Christmas is comments! ^__^


End file.
